I have been blog browsing and am just so inspired by the little bits and pieces of each day that's documented. Every smile. Every running late breakfast. Every mess. Every activity. Little snippets of true life. It makes me feel all the more normal. And it's good. Good to see real life as opposed to all the over processed "reality" that's blared at us through a glowing box telling us about "life".
The imperfection is beautiful.
I have been really enjoying my Instagram app on my Itouch. It allows me to record precious little moments without all the excess hubbub. Imperfect moments. That is where I am at right now. Imperfect. Rolling it around in my brain and seeing how it feels. There are many things about me and my life that are imperfect. "Flawed". Being a stay at home mom, if nothing else gives me a lot of time for self reflection. Sometimes too much time. Like "I need to get out of my head before I drive myself mad." time. But nonetheless I have been using that opportunity to ponder my self perceived imperfections. And what they mean. What they are trying to teach me. Because I believe in any area of life that you struggle or is challenging, there is a lesson to be learned, a truth.
At twenty-five, I have struggled and sometimes I learned from those trials and other times it had to hit me over the head a few times before I "got it". My perception of my imperfect body is one of them. I just a few moments ago stopped by this amazing woman's blog not only is her art GOREGOUS but she is BEAUTIFUL. Beautiful for sharing her unabashed truth. She recently posted a couple of photos of herself, dressed in adorable undies (which I have those same ones by the way :) ), and her daughter loving touching her tummy. Her mama tummy. And it is just luscious and beautiful and made me think of my own tummy. A tummy that I have often looked at with anger, disgust, loathing and sadness. Longing for what it wasn't. These photos of her brought to light an ache in my heart. An ache to accept myself. My body. My mama tummy. My imperfections. With just as much rawness and wild woman awesomeness as her. So to Erin, thank you. Thank you for the beauty that you are sharing with the world. Through your art, and through your life. You are truly an amazing soul.
Erin's photo inspired me to do something that makes my knees knock and my heart race with anxiety but I'm going to do it anyway. I am going to face my fear and post a picture of my own "mama tummy". If you leave a comment please be gentle and mindful that this is a sensitive issue for me and I want this place to be one of safety and loving exchange.
So, (exhale) her goes nothin'...
So there you have it. My mama tummy. It may get smaller, more toned, bigger, less toned whatever, but it's mine. It carried my daughter, it helps me to process all the delicious food I have ever had into fuel for my day, it has helped me birth life into this world. And I am grateful for it. I hope that I can continue to see it with new eyes with beauty, gratitude and love. To feel delicious not disgusted. Sensual not sad about it. And loving towards it not lashing it with unkind words, pinching and pulling wishing it to be something else.
I hope that even just one person will see this and feel better about themselves and their own amazing bodies.
Have a blessed weekend.
