Separate but Parallel.

The weather is changing.

Cool, crisp, golden sunlight mornings.

The first thrill of autumn coming to rest lightly on the world.

My life is changing too.

I've spent the last few weeks on my own.

Separate.

Separate but still in contact with him.  

For our daughter.  At first.  Then some heart felt conversations sprang forth from the chaos.  Realizations that he is having.  About himself.  About us.  About life.  Trying to put the wheels in motion to re-create himself.  To seek out those dark places inside and shed the beautiful light and love of the universe onto them.  Even when it hurts.   Even when it's hard.

Necessary change.

It will be a long time coming if ever and only time will tell, but...a little ribbon of hope has been discovered floating in this autumn wind.

Through major healing.  On my part.  On his part.  Speaking to wise sages who've tread the path we walk.  Who can impart wisdom.  Time apart and space.  Freedom to discover who we are.

We will walk this road.  Separate but parallel.  

And see where we end up.

Trusting the process.  The healing elixir of time.

Blessings to you all and a very Happy Belated Autumn Equinox.

 

It must be the end of the road.

I am going through huge shifts in my life right now.

Everything has changed.

I am now looking at a whole new universe and I just feel overwhelmed.

And for some reason tonight I just feel numb.

I have gone through about 50 bajillion different emotions about it all.

I have been having trouble sleeping.  Which has never been a problem for me.

I don't remember my dreams, but I wake feeling not rested, like I spent all night running.

I don't know when all this will change.  And I will find a new normal.  But for now it's disorienting, liberating, and exhausting.

But I will keep on going.  I will find that new normal.  Because I deserve happiness.  I deserve to live free.  To be myself.  To live from my heart.  And to never ever again settle for less.

"It must be the end of the road.  It must be the end of you and I and forever too.  I'm walking the last bridge alone.  I'm giving up on the good times and the bad we knew."  --Me, Myself and I by: Hanson