Time is fleeting, but my love for you is forever.

11 months ago to the day.

1 more month exactly until it's been a year.

At this time on that day, i would've been resting in post labor exhaustion and blissed out brand new motherhood.

I have this sensation as of late, like i am trying to desperately hold onto a handful of water. futile i consciously know, but yet i grasp at the drops flowing through my fingers.

She grows each and everyday. ever changing. evolving into her own person. absorbing her surroundings, reacting in joy, sadness, frustration and awe.

Funny how it really seems as if at times you suddenly realize you are in the middle of massive body of water and the the smallest ripple, flows out and effects everything else. boundless.

I have this feeling like I cannot hold onto her.

Her baby moments.

Her newness to everything.

I already miss her.

And she isn't even gone.

I just know that it will all continue to forever change. She will grow up. She will fall down. She will get hurt. She will get back up and she will keep on playing. She will go to her first day of school. She will experience joys and fears. She will go on her first date. She will fall in love. She will have her heart broken. She will mend it. She will move forward. And on and on it will go.

If she knows nothing else but this, I will be happy.

That from the moment that the doctors placed you on my chest, the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on, I have never been more in love. I have never felt more pure joy then seeing your precious face and hearing that sweet cry. From the first time your eyes met mine, to now hearing you say "Mama.." and hold out your hands expectantly for me to pick you up and hold you close.

I breathe you in every time I hold you, trying to commit your scent to memory. I wish I could freeze time and let us just stay here suspended. It's a bittersweet journey, to watch your baby grow bigger and change from moment to moment.

Bittersweet and Beautiful.

And I cherish, every. single. moment.