Best of Intentions :)

Oh the open road of possibility!


Okay. :)

I have been taking some delicious time to get some things on the home front in order, but this afternoon of stormy, dark sky, windy weather, I felt would be a good time write a post.

I know it's a bit belated, but I wanted to talk about some thoughts, intentions for the New Year. I like "intentions" better than resolutions. Resolutions bring up the thought of berating of the self and bad fad diets.

So here's to New Years "Intentions".

I would like to share my list for the things that I intend for the coming rotation around the sun.

1. My phrase for this year is "WHY NOT!! :)". In the vein of why can't every amazing thing that you desire for yourself be possible? Why does it have to be tempered with a pessimistic attitude of "we don't have enough money" or "it will take forever..." blah blah NO MORE! I am adopting an attitude of "WHY THE HELL NOT!" and seeing where that lovely goodness takes me.

2. Instead of having "should-y" thoughts. I release all my shoulds. Your "shoulds" are when you say to yourself, I SHOULD eat a head of broccoli instead of that wedge of cake. Or I should be better at cleaning up. Or I shouldn't this, that or the other thing. I am DONE with shoulds!!!! I will do exactly what my heart calls me to do! I know there are daily responsibilities in life and that's fine! But no more guilt! In the words of Brene Brown, "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough...". Amen Sister!

3. Love myself by doing things that enrich my soul and my passion for life. Create. Read. Loving physical movement i.e yoga, hooping, dancing, sex, playing with Layla, laughing so hard I can't breathe with my best friends. No guilt trips. Again with the no shoulds. Fill my days with things that bring me joy. Nourish and care for my body and spirit by doing things that I love.

4. RELAX. Learn the beauty of idleness. This one is huge. As a habitual "Need to DO-er", I constantly am in a state of GET IT DONE NOW. I'll have to be gentle with myself. But when I find myself idle for a moment, instead of prodding myself into action, I will whisper to myself "just breathe into it...relax. It's okay. You are safe. You can just sit here and be. The world will not fall down around you. :). Enjoying the moment.

5. Take at least one picture a day. Bwahaha! :) Okay I'm sorry I had to laugh at this one because I'm already slacking. But it's good that I am writing this out, because it will remind me to. Just one random picture a day. I think I can wrap my will around that.

6. Delve more into photography skills. Learning all the bits and bobs of my camera and my focus, natural lighting, post process editing etc. Not because I SHOULD ;) but because I have a fire in my soul for photos and capturing memories. I want to be able to look back at this precious time in my life when my hair has started to gray, and I have more wrinkles than freckles and feel my heart well up with joy of my life and all the beautiful memories I created.

7. Integrate a steady yoga practice into your daily life. I am doing pretty well at this one so far, I am proud to say! I have done some kind of movement daily whether it was walking my neighborhood several times around in the brisk January wind, or stretching it out on my yoga mat with Shiva Rea :). And some days both! (WOOO! Go me!). I'll definitely be keeping this up. The first day I did this, my body was like YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! lol! It's safe to say it's missed Yoga.

8. Ask yourself daily. "Am I being kind to others and myself?" This one tugs at my heart strings a bit. Because I think a majority of people myself included, do not give or receive enough kindness. A hug for your husband. A kiss for you baby. A call to your Mama or Daddy. A I miss you to that far off brother in culinary school (who I DO miss SO BAD, but am SO PROUD OF!). And a look in the mirror at yourself and saying, "Hey Jess, I love you. You are awesome!" Hokey? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely.

9. Have a time to connect to your Spirit everyday. Whether it's on my morning walk, stirring my coffee, over my meal at supper time, or deep breathing in Asana practice. Connect with my Spirit and speak to Great Spirit, God, Goddess, The Great One in the Sky. Whatever it is that gets you there. Do it.

10. Read as much as possible. :) Not a problem! I have about fifty books that are waiting to be devoured right now. I think I have a book buying problem. But Amazon makes it too irresistible. I buy used and they are DIRT cheap and in great condition. But I think it's a vice that I am okay living with. It's all about acceptance man...:)

11. Express my authentic self in every possible way. Through art, my outfit choice of the day, cooking, EVERYTHING. I received one of the best compliments of my life from my brother a few months ago that literally made my year. He said, "Jess, you are without a doubt, the most genuine person I have ever met. Throughout the years even after all you've been through and the fact that you have grown older, that is one thing that has never changed about you. You have never tried to be anyone but exactly who you are." Definite WOW moment for me. I love my brother.

12. Know that no matter what, that you are safe and that everything will be okay. This one touches a very personal part of me. I went through a very hard time in my life, where nothing felt safe or secure, and I have slowly in the last several years come to terms that NO MATTER WHAT, I will be okay. I am safe. And that I am strong enough to handle whatever comes. Warrior Woman! ;)

13. Work on glorious goodies for Etsy shop! Oh Yea! That's right! I've got an Etsy shop in the works! WOOOOOT!

14. KNIT! :) I am in the fledgling stages of beginner-hood, but it's wonderful! I have discovered a love of textiles! I love sewing already and knitting is catching up! I have a bucket list goal of knitting a HUGE soft blanket in my lifetime!

15. Keep Flying with Flylady. If you don't know who this lady is...go check her out! She has saved me from dying under a mountain of mess!

16. You have permission to let go of things, (people, objects, weight, etc) that do not serve you. I intend to only keep things around me that I absolutely love!

17. Laugh and smile as much as possible! A very simple thing. Something you can do for free anytime of the day or night. Anywhere. Although you might get some glares if you are in the library hee-hawing it, but oh well! Spread that joy around!

18. Have more dance parties! Hell Yes! Again, anytime, anyplace! FREE! I have never known someone to be in a terrible mood and be dancing at the same time! So do it, crank the music up and shake it off!

19. Nurture and Love Yourself. Always.

20. Live Your Joy!!!!!!!


Hope ya'll enjoyed this! Set your Intentions for the beautiful New Year! It's going to be amazing!

At Christmas.

I hope you all had a very Happy Holiday.
Will update soon. Busy being Merry :)

silent night.

From this.


To this.


To this.


To this.


To this.


To this.


To this.


As the year comes to a close, and we all turn in, to spend time with loved ones and revel in the peace this season brings, I feel truly blessed. While making a gift for several family members, I was browsing the many saved snap shots of my little one, and was just marveling at the life I was having the privilege of seeing unfold before me. She has changed and grown so much in the last almost 3 years. During the daily hustle and bustle you don't take time to slow down and realize the changes of time, the sweet baby cheeks thinning to girlishness, the close cropped baby soft hair, now shoulder length and with a precious curl at the end. With holiday music softly playing in the background and my precious girl tucked away for the night, I am sitting in my overstuffed comfy chair, taking a moment. Slowing completely down from my day. No to-do list right now. No where to be but here. Savoring each thing. From the refreshment of the ice water in my glass, to the warmth of a well worn sweater, taking a step back and enjoying the moment.

Christmas, is not far off now. There are still bits to be done, presents to be wrapped and family time to enjoy, but for now. I am choosing to bask in the glow of a beautifully lit tree, the pile of gifts already starting to stack up beneath.

Blessings to all those who happen across this blog. I hope that you will take time out of the rush and hustle of the season, and just revel in the beauty of the simple everyday.




Happy Holidays.

Baby It's Cold Outside.

Busy. Busy. Busy-ness.

That is what has been going on around here of late. Working on getting the house in tip top shape before the holidays get into full swing. This is my absolute FAVORITE time of the year! When a chilly wind starts blowing through, hot chocolate is served in huge mugs, and sweaters and scarves abound. The time of year that makes you want to cozy up close to a crackling fire with a good book and a cup-o-cheer :).

With Thanksgiving on it's way and visiting with loved ones that I don't get to see that often, holiday themed activities, Cookie Day (a family holiday- we get together every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas and spend the whole day making cookies, put a big pot of soup or chili on the stove, some crusty bread and stuff ourselves silly. But there are usually so many cookies that usually get distributed as gifts.)I can't help but feel the first twinkles of dare-I-say Holiday/Christmas merriment? Yeah I think I feel pretty comfortable saying that. Not to run over Thanksgiving and jump right into Christmas trees, but it's hard to ignore when all the telephone poles down main street in my little town already have their annual Holiday lights up....hmmmm...well if you can't beat em' join em', at least when it comes to celebrating the season!

So for now I will keep this post slightly short and sweet with a few things that are making me smile right now. Enjoy!


yum!

truth.

I have an unhealthy burlap addiction. It's not pretty. I must make this.

Layered Love.

Precious. I want a photo of Layla just like this this year.

Hope everyone has a very blessed weekend!

25 Trips Around the Sun.

Thank you.

Thank you for gifting me the last 25 years of my life.

Thank you for all the heart wrenching "dark night of the soul" type moments.

Thank you for all the rich ecstatically joyous moments.

All the HUGE things. All the teeny tiny things.

For all the things that I forget to say Thank You for, and for moments that will stay with me forever.

Thank you.

I just want to soak up every delicious moment of this day.

And live every one, no matter what with a heart full of love, a soul filled with joy, and an attitude of gratitude. Always.

To this 25th birthday and many many more to come. Thank you for all the blessings I am privileged to have and I cannot wait to see what this next amazing year will bring.

Happy Birthday to me :).

Your human-ness is showing.

It's funny how there are times when you feel like you've grown and changed and morphed into this enlightened, open person full of wisdom and then the universe lobs a curve ball your way to knock you down off your high horse right when you need it.

Thank goodness I have to the guidance to receive it with grace and not resist the constructive criticism. :)

I have been sitting with some emotions and thought processes that have come to my attention as of late. It's been a struggle to humble myself and admit (to myself) that there are things that I still need to dig into soulfully. I love how the universe leaves little messages through some of the most interesting avenues for me to find, like little jewels dropped along my pathway to lead me in the right direction.

The thing that I keep coming back to lately is letting my emotions wrap me in their hurricane and jerk me all over the place until the fallout is all that's left. I know there are trials and tests in life, usually in the areas that you struggle with the most because that is where you need the most growth. For me it is my patience. My compassion. My fuse can be so short sometimes. With the people that I love the dearest. I know this logically that when I let my emotions just run rough-shot all over my day and I REACT instantly instead of breathing into the emotion and recognizing it for what it is and letting it pass through, some definite damage can be done. And I don't like that about myself. It's an ugly part of me. When I speak a little to harshly to my husband over something trivial because of my insatiable desire to control my world (when that is fruitless and I know it...Great Spirit is that you laughing right now...yeah I though so...:), or when I reach my patience quotient for the day with my daughter when she is throwing a temper tantrum because her movie went off or because she's out of milk. These are my struggles. And I get sad looking back on these moments. Because I know how precious and fleeting they are. And it hurts my heart that, I could've handled it so much differently.

I know I am human. And as a human I am genetically programed to be imperfect. But squaring with yourself, taking a breath, and taking an honest assessment of your words and actions can really make you stop and think. I feel like sometimes, I am snappy, or irritable etc. because I have built up the wall that is the HUGE elephant in the room and if I act irritated or grouchy then others cannot see my vulnerabilities.

But I recognize them. And even though I am unsure if they will ever be conquered entirely. I strive to be more in touch with my heart. My emotions. More grounded in myself and real true life. My eyes are stinging right now with tears as I type this with gratefulness for what I have been blessed with. How little things can get in the way during a busy day when I should be thanking my husband for all that he does, and holding my daughter close even when she is fussy because soon she will be gone from my arms and a grown woman, living in this crazy beautiful world.

My birthday is coming soon. In a few weeks. I'll be 25. And I've told myself I am not allowed to have a quarter-life crisis ;). But I can definitely feel how someone could. I noticed my first laugh lines at the corners of my eyes. Very small ones. But they're there none the less. And it scared me. It's hitting me hard lately that I am truly and absolutely going to age. Then I started thinking about mortality. My mortality. And how there will be a time when I will not walk this earth. I will not smell the fresh rain, like the kind that fell this afternoon. Or touch my baby's soft hair and smell her sweet scent or hear her "I love you too mommmy's", see my husband's smile, my mother's hugs. And it wrenched my heart. But it also made me that much more acutely aware. How life can slip past you if you aren't paying attention.

Be present. Be here now. That is my focus. Because the days when I find myself living in each individual moment. Reading a book to my daughter, washing the dinner dishes, creating something beautiful for someone I love, sipping my coffee. It's like everything is brighter, clearer, more vibrant, more precious. So I take these moments. All of them. I soak in them and breathe them in because they will all too soon turn to memories.

Today appreciate each moment. Each bite of food. Each laugh. Each tear. Read that book to your child for the 50th time. Hug your loved ones extra long. Stop waiting for your life to being. Because you are in it. Live it out loud. Live from your soul and trust your heart.

It's a beautiful life. Doesn't it go by in a blink?...

I Choose.

"Aaaahhhhh..."

That is a sigh of a mama.
A sigh of contentment.
Little one is tucked away in bed finally asleep.
The husband is upstairs, snoozing away, exhausted from a long drill weekend.
And a momma in her craft room, surrounded by books waiting to be read, a fall craft project that I am in the middle of finishing and a steaming cup of tea.
Yea. This is the stuff.

I feel really good right now. In this moment. Very connected. Grounded which I haven't felt in a while. The frazzles I've had definitely could've been contributed to the Mercury retrograde that just wrapped itself up a few weeks ago. But tonight I feel like I am right where I should be.

I've been sitting with things lately. Trying to not fight against the flow of life. If someone says something upsetting to me I don't let it hook me. I just let it flow. If Layla is grumpy and showing it, I let it flow. I remember that I don't have to let other's emotions and negativity become my own. I know that I fall down and make mistakes but I am becoming more and more aware of the lessons these stumbles bring forth.

I can feel a stirring. An awakening beginning that I always feel at this time of year. This is my time of year. I am a fall baby after all. But the cooling of the air, the falling leaves, the scent of wood smoke on the wind, the burnt orange, golden yellow, and deep burgundies of the sunset, all speak to my soul in some way. This season breathes fresh life into me when I feel just about to burn out from all the endless southern heat.

Lately I have had this message coming through to me, a message to take that leap of faith into the unknown. That there will be someone there to catch me. The leap to be free. To dive into the bliss of living a limitless life. To shake off the shackles and free that all that love and joy within me to live this life to the fullest and not let anything stop me. I has struggled in the past, in a victimized state of mind. Letting my relationships to my loved ones, my failures, my situations define and contain me. But I feel something has shifted. I know that I CHOOSE to be happy. To live a life filled with joy. To look at all that I am blessed with, with gratitude. To open my heart to all that abundance and unbridled possibility. It's exhilerating.

I talked to a friend the other day that I haven't talked to in years because of a disagreement that we had, and something that had hurt me deeply. We were very close at a point in our young lives, and she messaged me online just to say hello. And it was like the floodgates opened. I felt this nudge inside me..."talk to her." it said. And I listened. We've exchanged some short conversations so far but have plans to meet soon for a long overdue lunch to really catch up. Our lives have changed so much. We are both married, both have children, I have one, she two. It's just crazy how much time has gone by. And I told myself. I choose forgiveness. I choose joy. I choose daily gratitude. Moment by moment gratitude, in the throws of 2 year old fits over which movie my daughter wants to watch. I choose to be seen. For all my faults and imperfections. For all my beauty and amazing qualities. For my authentic self. For my heart. For my soul. For me.

Just me.