Reduce, Reuse, Reassess...to Raw or not to Raw?

mmmm..

Hello again!



It feels like it's been forever since I posted last. Life just happens sometimes and leaves no room for blog post-y-ness. :) Layla has not been sleeping well lately. No more 3 hour naps for her! She's been taking about 1 thirty minute nap and maybe 1 one hour nap if I'm lucky. She did better today than the last few days. She took about a 2 hour nap this afternoon and then shockingly went down at her bedtime and is still asleep now. (keeping my fingers crossed that she stays asleep ;) I think it's just a stage shes going through but hopefully it will be one that doesn't last that long.



I have been doing some blog browsing lately, looking for ideas on repurposing, reusing, and recycling objects that you already own, things that you would probably throw in the trash automatically but instead finding new ways to use them. From tin cans, to plastic bottles and jugs, to clothing with holes, or cardboard boxes, you can pretty much find anything on these websites detailing how to use and reuse said materials and decrease the size of the already overflowing landfills, and minimizing your individual carbon footprint :). I consider myself a genuinely healthy, mindful person. I DON'T LITTER. At ALL. And litter bugs bother me to the point of climbing on my soap box over it. I am going to plant a garden again (finally!) this spring as the weather starts to get warmer, I am trying to find alternative uses for my families water bottles (if we ever use them) or just drinking filtered tap water. Issues such as conserving water, and alternative fuel options such as filtered cooking oil as fuel for diesel engine vehicles interests me very much (although sadly we do not own a diesel car...maybe one day so we can give it a try!). I try and purchase organic whenever possible (although not as much as I would like...it can get expensive and we are tight on money) from baby food for my little one, to personal care. I check packaging for preservatives and additives, and that they are cruelty free. I don't drink soda, I eat whole wheat bread almost exclusively ( I live in a household with others who are not so healthfully inclined so sometimes I have to sacrifice lol.), I try and eat as much fresh fruit and veggies as I can convince my husband to fit into our budget. I use Stevia in my coffee and as my sweetener of choice. And water is my best buddy :P. My downfalls include sweet tea ( I am a southern girl at heart...can you really blame me?), the occasional candy bar at the movies, and a rare pit stop at Taco Bell. hah :). I am not entirely strict on myself but do try and make healthy choices when choosing my meal options and trying to incorporate exercise into my week. I usually run or do yoga every other day with a few sessions of P90X extreme home fitness thrown in for good measure.



My reason for all this being is that during my blog browsing sessions, I have come across the folks repurposing items in their lives seem to not only care about the environment but also in what the put into their own bodies, which led me to information on vegetarianism, veganism and a fully raw food diet. Now don't get your knickers in a twist just yet ;) I am not suddenly shunning all meat, and eating just beans from now until forever. But the benefits of a diet that consists of mostly raw food definitely would be of benefit. So I would really like to start incorporating more of those foods into my diet more so than I already do. I can really tell when I have been eating really clean and I throw in a fast food sandwich or something equally as processed, my body just rejects it like food poisoning. I have an upset stomach for the rest of the day. It's funny how when you give your body really what its needing you notice how good you feel as opposed to when you give into too many processed items full of preservatives you notice how they can extremely affect your body and make you sluggish, have indigestion, headaches, even weaken your immune system to the point of contracting that nasty flu virus that just happens to be floating around at the exact wrong time.



While browsing one of my newly favorited blogs, http://www.happyfoody.com/ Sara Janssen and her family document their daily eating habits and recipes, ideas and advice for eating cleaner and living healthier. They also have several other sites to enjoy:



http://www.happyjanssens.com/ that documents their nomadic lifestyle, in their RV and unschooling their two adorable little ones.



http://www.walkslowlylivewildly.com/ a blog of the Janssen clan full of fun pics and informative great posts.



http://www.livelightlytour.com/ another site posted by the fam which I have yet to check out, but will do so soon :).



So if you interested in clean living, becoming an unschooler or just checking out a very interesting family and taking a little peak into their lives, hop on over to any of these sites and take a gander.



I think you will be pleasantly surprised :).

Growing Pains...embracing myself.

Hello again!

Whew...it's been a long day. I just put Layla down to sleep for the night and it seems to be as good a time as any to crank out a blog. :)

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. A lot of introspection. Which seems to be quite a trend with me as of this year so far. A major part of this soul searching, has been my view on my body image and my view on how much sway it holds over my life. Looking back, from when I was 14 years old and going through puberty, and looking around at the other girls and their changing figures, was about the time I started comparing my body. Throughout middle school and into early high school I was made fun of by some. During that ever awkward transition from chubby pre teen to expanding-in-lots-of-new-ways teenager, with glasses and braces and hand me down clothes. The rich, popular girls picked me apart from my hair down to my shoes. And I didn't realize what a profound impact it had on me until now. Up until that time they way I dressed never crossed my mind as a problem or an offense to the 7th grade population. I had friends, I did well in school, I had fun all the time but I never fit in with the popular crowd. Once I reached high school, about 11th grade I lost the braces, got contacts and a new haircut, I walked into school as confident as I would ever be. I made the cheer leading squad, got voted into Jr. Cotillion ( an organization similar to a sorority minus drunken parties with frat boys, and a lot more themed dancing), and the same girls that had made fun of me wanted to be my best friend or at least they pretended to be to my face. During this time I had several boyfriends, all nothing serious until my junior year I met my husband and the rest is history.

Saying all this and looking back over my cultivated memories, I think of that 14 year old girl with her glasses and braces and never feeling pretty and wishing so badly that she could look like the popular girls but instead she drowned her sorrows in bags of chips ahoy cookies, piles of books, and having fun with her true friends. I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I could travel back and let her see the beautiful woman that she would turn into, the daughter and husband she would have and how happy she would be. I wish I could wrap her in warm hug and let her know that hard times would come and go but to always hold onto herself. The beautiful light she is on the inside.

I wrote down my resolutions in my journal a little belated this year and one of them was to start the P90X program and complete it, and by Layla's first birthday to be in the best shape of my life. Ever since my cold has knocked me down from working out 6 days a week, I have tried several times to jump back in, but each time I am left hurting, my body shaking and barely finishing workouts that I was able to complete with still moderate energy before my getting sick. It is a goal for myself that I truly want to complete. I told myself I would not quit and to kick myself in the butt if I did because I thought it would pay off in the end. But I feel as if I am trying to be too perfect, and that if I don't do this workout exactly verbatim and push myself so hard that I am left gasping then I am disappointing myself and the others I promised that I would complete it and be an advocate of these "AMAZING" results. But the more and more I feel this pressure to be this or that and meet this quota that these other P90Xers have set ahead of me, the more I feel as if I don't measure up. I'm not gonna lie. I don't like to workout. Not in the traditional sense. I love using my body and being physical, but I want it to be fun! I LOVE TO DANCE, I love to stretch, I love to feel the strength in my muscles, I love the centering of yoga and piece of mind it gives me, I love to swim, I love to ride horses, I love skipping through summer grass and wildflowers, I love rolling around with my daughter, I love kicking a soccer ball around. That said, P90X does not offer those things...lol. But I feel like I am letting myself down if I don't incorporate it somehow into my week and finish at least the first 90 days. I just don't know what to do.

I told my husband of my struggle the other day with my self image and self esteem, describing my guilt of falling of the wagon with P90X and I asked him what should I try and do?? He shook his head, sighing, slighting raising his eyebrows telling me, "Honey, why don't you try being happy?...just as you are...right now? If something is not making you happy then DON'T DO IT." I hate it when he's so logical sometimes...hah. But he's right. Life is too short for me to be letting a workout DVD series beat me up for not enslaving myself to it. But that doesn't mean that I have to give up being active and taking care of my body. Still make healthy choices and get up and get out a few days a week, but let it be something that I look forward to, something that brings me joy. Taking a dance class or just dancing in my room, stretching, yoga, playing with my daughter, running, playing kickball or soccer with my nephew. I am done feeling guilty. Especially to an inanimate object. hahah. If one day I decide to pick it up and do it because it feels good to me the it will be there for me to do so.

I stumbled upon a show over the weekend that I didn't even know existed. "How to Look Good Naked" with Carson Kressley. Now I normally don't watch makeover shows or TV in general, but I was searching for information on "loving yourself" and this popped up. So in curiosity, I watched the first episode. Not but a few moments into it, I realized they were onto something. Carson, took women who had body and self image issues, from sizes ranging petite and thin, to curvy and voluptuous, and showed them how beautiful they truly are, no matter what they looked like. He showed them how skewed their view of themselves and their bodies was, really opening the eyes of every lady on the program. It was truly awe inspiring and made me laugh, cry and want to cheer through watching both season one and two. It made me give myself a really hard look and think about what I had going for me as opposed to my so called "flaws". I feel as if my perspective of myself, although not perfect has begun to shift. I don't want to have that so called "perfect" body. That's boring. I am unique unto myself. And although I want to be healthy. I am healthy. I would like to feel fit and strong and I do. I will no longer feel the pressure to fit into an unrealistic mold. I look in the mirror now and my "flaws" tell a story about myself. The scars on my stomach from my complications as an infant. Being born three months premature, left the doctors with not much hope for my survival, but doing everything they could to save me. Whether that was inserting tubes into my stomach, my heart beating rapidly through my paper thin skin, experimental ointment dropped into my eyes so my eyes would develop as normally as possible and I would not suffer blindness. My post pregnancy, small stretch marks on my lower abdomen and the pooch in my belly tell the tale of the creation and birth of my greatest achievement and joy, my daughter. They are badges of honor. War wounds. And remind me of how lucky I am to be alive when I wasn't given weeks to live and had no idea that one day I would create and birth a life into the world.

I love myself just as I am, "flaws" and all. And when I forget, I will take a look in the mirror and remember who I am and that I am beautiful.

A touch of Whimsy

In my early morning blog browsing, while my daughter madly jumps for her life in her jumperoo ;)... I stumbled upon something beautiful that just brightened up this dreary overcast morning!

Beautiful Natural Hair Crowns and Hair Pieces!!!

Aren't they just absolutely magical??!!! I was browsing through butterfly images (because they are my absoute favorite!) and came across the butterfly hairpiece image that you see at the top and clicked on it. The link took me a young woman's etsy shop entitle "WhichGoose"! How WONDERFUL! A self proclaimed "purveyor of natural hair crowns and accessories", her creations just pulled me in! I could almost imagine the fresh spring breeze blowing through my hair with one of her beautiful pieces adorning it! They are so inspiring and make me want to pin one to my locks, don an ivory grecian cown and run through wildflower fields dancing with the fairies! :D

If you would like to visit her etsy or blog her are the links. ENJOY!

Whichgoose Etsyshop : www.etsy.com/shop/whichgoose

Whichgoose blog: www.whichgoose.blogspot.com

Up to my elbows in realization among other things ;)

The last 2 weeks have been challenging for me, or what my father likes to call "character building days". As I posted before I have been recovering from a cold of some sort and it's still not quite through my system. But this downtime has given me a chance from some serious introspection and a great deal of reflection on certain things in my life and WHY they are apart of my life. And the odd thing is, I have found that somethings that were not apart of my life anymore or not as much as they used to be NEED TO BE, and others that held great sway over my life needed to be cut loose or reduced considerably.

Let me explain.

I have been reading a book en tilted "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. And it has made for a great many interesting conversation starters or blog starters, if you will. It documents the resolutions and goals of Gretchen, the author as she starts a year long journey to find her true form of happiness and researching and discovering a great many venues for happiness all along the way. She breaks her master list down into bite size chunks to be accomplished each month and then adds to them for each month that she continues. I am not finished yet but so far it has been quite eye opening in certain areas. You can visit her blog at www.happiness-project.com and read the most recent posts from Gretchen herself.

Another resource I have been utilizing is other individual blogs and websites of people entirely unique to themselves that seem to be on that same path. Discovering and implementing what makes them happy, and what truly matters in life to them. One that I want to give tremendous recognition to is www.goddessguidebook.com created by Leonie Allan, in which she helps every woman find the true Goddess that she is inside herself. The light that emanates from that woman is so brilliant, you can feel it coming through your computer screen. After reading quite a few blog entries, reading about her Goddess School, seeing her beautiful magical artwork, and watching several videos that she has done, she has truly blown me away. Her intent to help others by helping them see who they truly are inside and that they are more than just a face or a body and that each and every woman has a beautiful Goddess just waiting to be let out is just AMAZING. I admire her so and every time I visit her site, I just feel truly uplifted. There are not enough "Goddess Leonie's" in the world. And I humbly commend her for all that she has done for myself and others' lives that she has surely touched. I have not been able to enroll in one of her Goddess school e-courses yet but hopefully Goddess willing in the future, the funds will be there to allow it. :) I do encourage you to visit her website if you feel so inclined to do so. Once you do you will understand.

My point in listing these two resources of self discovery, is that looking back from my pre-teen adolescence until now at soon to be 24 years of age, married and a mother, there are things that have been lost and certain habits and things that I have adapted into my life that should have never been added. I think that as young girls grow into young women they all transition from toys and dolls, to clothes and boys or something to that effect. And in that transition something gets lost. I feel at that transition time for myself, I didn't even realize I had lost it. Now what is IT? That elusive little "THING" that I keep mentioning. Well some would call it innocence but that seems lacking somehow. I want to say passion but that doesn't seem quite fitting either. Authenticity. That seems to be right. Think back to yourself at 10 years old. What did you like to do after school? Did you take lessons, horseback riding, art, karate, swimming? Did you play outside with friends, siblings, alone? What games did you play? Where you the captain of a pirate ship and your friends were your ship mates and the big oak tree in your yard was the main mast and the tree house the crows nest? What books did you read? Did you like fiction that took you to far off historical places? Or thrillers or diaries? Did you keep a journal? What did you put in it. Did you fill it with honest truths of your world, private thoughts or did you write your own fictional stories, or both? In reflecting on these things, I discovered that I had lost that childish enthusiasm. That passion, that light in my eye of just doing something because I enjoyed it. Of feeling free and open to being EXACTLY me and making no apologies. And it made me sad. That I wasn't even sure WHAT I liked to do anymore. A friend asked me over coffee what hobbies I had, and the question made me stumble. I had no clue. I like to read. That's always been a given. But I couldn't expand on that. I had somehow lost that 10 year old inside me that had such a passion for horses, and books and Harriet the Spy and American Girls, who loved to play outside and climb trees and pretend and lived in the world of her imagination where anything could be possible. And she had been replaced by a woman that had seen to much, sacrificed and painfully grown away from her true self. But I think that, that comes with growing up. Every person adapts "adult" activities, likes, dislikes and forgets the child in themselves. Their authentic self. In discovering all this, I vowed to myself to reawaken that child. Reintegrate that WONDER and PASSION into my life as wife, mother and woman that I had become. From taking time to enjoy playing with toys with my daughter seeing that spark in her eyes, that every day is a new journey to something wonderful, to read her stories of far off make believe worlds. To paint again! To create! Something that I had not done for YEARS. I rediscovered my love of art. And the sense of peace it gave me. I went to the library and promptly checked out a towering stack of books about anything and everything that caught my fancy, (historical fiction being a favorite ;), my mother two steps behind with her stack as well. :D. Rediscovering my love of nature, sitting outside with my morning cup of coffee watching a woodpecker, bang for his breakfast and two little finches, flitting back and forth from branch to branch twittering to each other. I didn't even know that finches lived in my area!! It feels as if I have been ransacking through life with my eyes closed. That I had forgotten to STOP and just breathe the fresh air, to crack open a library book and breath in that musty "book" smell, to eat a piece of chocolate cake and not feel an ounce of guilt, really savoring it, to live life afresh, renewed and remembering who I really am. That I am not just a face, or a body, or a mother, or a wife or a daughter. That I am still that ten year old girl as well.

The key, is to achieve balance. To not only be all that adult things that you must be, but to also indulge the true authentic, unique "REAL YOU" that lives inside. Let her out of that musty old closet filled with old toys and books long forgotten. Shes been patiently waiting for you to remember her...

"Never lose your childish innocence. It is the most important thing." - Under the Tuscan Sun

I am grateful.

This is something that I wrote back in November 09' of this past year and I thought it relevant to share. I have seen quite similar posts on other blogs and vlogs and thought it would be nice to share. Hope you enjoy.




Today's been a strange day. I started the day out, feeling sorry for myself as I tend to do now and again. I was looking in the mirror at my body, so changed after my pregnancy and bringing Layla into this world. Several times a week, I excercise either running, lifting weights, intensive yoga, or just kick my butt bootcamp like training. But still as I stared at my reflection I saw the lumps and bumps, puckers, and dimples of a body that was taking longer and longer and harder work than I have ever had to put into it in order to mold it into what I wanted it to look like. I frowned. "Will I look like this forever?" "will I ever feel proud of my body again?" The majority of my morning went on as such. As I got dressed, fixed my hair and my makeup, I scrutinized, "my skin is so pale..." " "Do i look pudgy in this shirt?" "I look like a mom in this outfit, not like a trendy 20 something woman" On an on the complaints and negative thoughts filled my mind and the space around me, and I'm sure it was coming off of me in waves of stress and dissatisfaction. I felt my own negativity, just polluting me, I felt a knot in my insides and didn't quite understand why at the moment, but as always hindsight is perfectly 20/20. Layla did not have a good day today. From early this morning she was not feeling well and out of sorts. She fussed through her morning nap she should've been taking, into being hungry and needing to be fed. And on it went for her, crying between feedings and from exhaustion from not napping all day. Finally all that energy hit its crescendo at about supper time. I was fixing supper and went up to check on her because she had been fussing and Chandler had laid down with her to see if she'd nap for a little while. Almost immediately after laying her down in her bassinete, she started crying again and fussing. It was almost more than I could bear. I just wanted to sit in the floor and cry. Chandler was trying to calm my frustration and we were bickering and suddenly we heard a gargling noise and turned quickly to Layla's basinette and she was vomiting and choking. I instantly went into Mom mode and Chandler into Dad mode. Lifting her up, still projectile vomiting I held her close to me, checking her breathing and Chandler swiftling wrapping her up in a blanket and clearing away the soiled things. I carried her quickly to her room, checking her stunned face to make sure she was okay. My heart wrenched for her knowing she had been in pain all afternoon with an upset tummy and I selfishly was thinking of myself and my wardrobe choices. Now I wasn't trading one negative emotion for the other...not self pity for guilt. But as I bathed her and changed her into warm dry jammies, and saw a little smile on her face even though she was feeling badly, my heart just smiled back. I held her after her last bottle as she FINALLY slept in my arms and my mom and I watched CNN Heroes, and all the people they showcased who make such a tremendous difference in others' lives everyday. Enriching and helping those that literally HAVE NOTHING. Coming home after their day job and spending hours EVER DAY cooking huge amounts of food in order to take it to the homeless and hungry, fathering and mothering those who are orphans because their parents were killed in war torn countries, educating children by pushing a trolley filled with a few teaching materials throughout a city, children that play in massive dumps full of trash, debris, glass and disease, and the list just goes on and on. I felt immensely selfish for my comforts and all that I took for granted on a daily basis. I consider myself a giving thoughtful person but today I was humbled. I may not have the latest clothing all the time, I may not have a Victoria's Secret model-like body, I may not even have enough money to make ends meet at times and hospital bills, doctors bills have to be juggled, phones have to be shut off for a while because its a luxury. But my eyes opened to something that for some reason my heart seems to forget on occasion. What I do have in large abundance. I live in a home with my mother, step father, brother, my husband and my daughter, and I am grateful. Some might ridicule for us not having our own place right now, but I am fortunate enough to have a safe, warm, loving place to keep my daughter and be surrounded by my family that loves me. I have a husband who has been through hell and back, trials and tribulations that he may never fully share through his military service and working as hard as he can to support us both and our daughter and give us what we need. A husband that loves me and sees me as not only attractive despite my physical "flaws" but enriched by it because I am the mother of his child. I get to feel his arms around me everyday and snuggle close to him at night. I get to hear his laugh and see him play with our little girl. I get to feel loved and to love in return. I am grateful. I have a mother who has physical ailments that keep her from doing many physical things that she would love to, but she never ceases to do anything and everything to see her children safe happy and taken care of. Even to the point of doing without for herself she gives more freely and openly to others than anyone I have ever known. I have a brother who brings light into my everyday. He is my best friend and makes me laugh more than anyone else. When I'm feeling down or don't want to talk he will just hold me, if I'm crying and tell me he loves me. He truly knows my heart and I don't know where I would be without him. I have sisters that have both been through so much. Both with children they are the warriors, the Amazons that have paved the way and come before me. They impart humor and love and support when its only a female ear that can hear my problems. They are my sisters in flesh and soul and I love them. I have a father who "is being healed" from parkinsons, as he says. He strives and fights his deteriorative disease EVERY DAY. Runing and walking miles around a track or with me around my neighborhood. Even when hes having a "characther building day" as he says, when his leg stiffens up on him and its hard for him to walk or his hand is shaking, he smiles and jokes it away, laughing at himself good naturedly. I have never met anyone as positive and uplifting as that man. He looks his fears straight in the face and says "you will NOT beat me". I have a stepfather and a stepmother that love their stepchildren as if they were their own and how hard it is to come into a pre established family and try and become apart of it, but they did and are parents above and beyond their calling. A man who in his sixties should be thinking about retirement, is getting up at 5 a.m and going to work everyday to support a bustling household. A stepmother with many physical ailments of her own, puts others before herself always and supports my father and my family with all her heart. I have a daughter. The most beautiful little girl that a mother would ever be blessed to bring into this world. She has no physical mal conformities, no mental retardation, no life threatening sickness. She is a healthy happy lovely almost-4 month old. To see her smile every morning as she sees me coming to pick her up out of her basinette with that cheesy toothless grin makes everyday worth it. To hold her as she sleeps and smell her skin, to feel her tiny hands grasp for me and hear her coo and gurgle silly responses at me when i talk to her and see her eyes light up at every new and exciting sound or sight. I am the luckiest mother in the world. And I have a body. I have a fully functioning body. I can walk, talk, speak, see, taste, smell, hear, and touch anything and everything. I can run, I can do pushups, I can stretch and play with my daugher on the rug. I can hug, I can dance, I can laugh and I can cry. The most amazing thing that I have ever done is to create life. MY BODY CREATED LIFE. Life began within me and I carried it for 9 months and bore it into existence. That in itself is AMAZING. I would go through it a thousand times over again to see my daughters face and to hear that little cry for the first time. So never mind the dimples, the pudginess, and the "imperfections" that need to be worked on or toned up. I created a life with my own body and that makes me love it! I am so proud of my body and what it has been able to accomplish, and I thank it for being mine. I only have one in this lifetime so I want to take care of it and treat it with respect.So in turn it has been a strange day. An eye opening and truly humbling one. I hope to not forget too often everything that I am blessed with. And the times when I am feeling sorry for myself or feeling like I drew the short straw, I turn back to this and remember...I am blessed. And I am grateful.

the unexpected snow day and it's choices

It's snowing today.

BIG TIME! Although it's not sticking to the ground the way that I would like, it's coming down fairly abundantly. I truly am just about ready for the last few cold weather days to be gone, considering it's the second day of March and I hail from the deep south, you would think that would be true by now and we'd be on our way to springtime. But not to be seen as of yet. We've had a few nice days here and there but we've had more snow this year than we've had in a long while. It's truly beautiful watching it fall out the window. When you stand outside you can just hear the quiet. The soft hush as it falls, coating cars, trees, everything it touches. The world just seems to slow down. Everyone seems to walk a little slower looking around at the wondrous white flakes flowing down to the earth. Whether they are rushing into the grocery store to get those few last minute supplies to stock up on in case we get "snowed in" :). It's one of those days that you wish you could just curl up on a big, fluffy, overstuffed couch, a warm cozy blanket thrown over you, a cup of warmth in your hands, a fire place roaring and crackling and a stack of good books that you have been meaning to get lost in but just now have finally carved out the time. It's so peaceful. I just want to slow down and savor every wonderful minute of my day.

I have been on a strict schedule of exercise since about the end of January and my goal is set for 90 days to work out for an hour a day (at least) on the P90X program. I did fairly well for the first 30 days, only missing 3 days but making them up promptly, and following a nutrition plan. But in the last 2 weeks my husband has had a short term deployment to Japan and him coming home as always was an adjustment in our schedules (considering at his location he was about 14 hours ahead of our time). My daughter had been teething during his absence with her first set of teeth which made her super cranky, and then my mother passed on a lovely cold/sinus infection to me which I am still feeling the effects from. Not to mention during said teething week we had to take Layla (my daughter) to the doctor for her 6 month check up and to receive 5 shots... needless to say she was not happy with us. My point in all this describing is that during that week of life insanity, I decided to take it easy and not jump right back into my workouts, as I was about to enter stage 2 of the program. I wanted to be up to par and give my body a chance to recuperate. As that's all well and good, my body definitely had a hard time getting back into the intense required hour or more workout that I attempted to complete this morning. During the workout my muscles struggled to keep up, during the weightlifting and push ups of the Chest, Shoulders and Triceps routine my arm muscles felt like pure jelly. I tried to push through each and every move as best as my body would let me but it truly kicked my but. Tony Horton's (the creator of P90X) motto is "Do Your Best and Forget the Rest" and I did the best I could considering the circumstances. I didn't meet the normal goals I set for myself today because I generally try and push myself to try for just a little more when I feel like I can only eek out one more. But that's okay because I feel like I at least TRIED. But on the downside, post workout I felt very dizzy and shaky and my sinus issues seemed to be returning. I think I underestimated the severity of the cold that I endured and the effect it had on my entire body. So after loading up with a few allergy and sinus meds, some vitamins and some juice. my daughter finally napping, I crawled into bed for about 2 hours for some very rejuvenating snooze time.

My question is...should I continue to push myself on days, like today that I feel still not quite well or should I let myself rest and recuperate until I feel 100% again? I checked the beachbody.com forums and some said to take it easy and some said to try and push through it if you felt like you could, just lower intensity. So it's kind of a toss up. Not sure if I should continue tomorrow pushing or take a few more days to get back to myself. Let me know what you all think, advice would be greatly appreciated.

I enjoy the workout program and setting a goal to attain for myself but at the same time I don't want that to be what I am all about. I do not have a specific goal image or weight that I am trying to achieve but am trying to see what my body is capable of on such a rigorous program. I feel like I want to do my best to achieve balance in working on my body, my soulpath, my spirit and my life journey with my family. Because a great deal of the time those things can fall to the wayside due to every day living and giving to others. It's been such a blessing to finally feel like the ice is dissipating and my heart, my passion is returning. I am remembering things that I loved and why I loved them. Music, artists, books, writers and activities that I had just let fall away over time I am rediscovering them and they bring me such joy. Joy and fueling a passion that I had somehow forgotten. It's reawakening my desire to work for myself and make my love of art and expression something that I hope to turn into a forum of supporting my family and nurturing my heart and soul. My dream is to each night go to sleep knowing that I lived each day to it's fullest capacity and spread love and joy and happiness in my path with myself and others. And to be kind to myself. Treat myself with the love and respect that I deserve.

So whether I do or don't take a few more days for myself to rejuvenate my soul and my body, whatever I choose will be the right path for me. Whatever feels right in my soul.

I wish you all a wonderfully precious day, and I hope you take the time out to appreciate the small things, be kind to yourself and take care no matter where you are.

Brightest Blessings and Love.